My Little Guitar Heroes Chapter 3

My Little Guitar Heroes: Rhythm is Magic

Chapter 3: Guitar Hero 1

Point of View: Logan
"Now that you guys know how to play, who wants to go first?" I asked. "I'm always gonna be one of the players, because I'm gonna be the engineer on this metaphorical train of an experience."

"Ummmm… I'd like to go first…" Fluttershy timidly spoke up. "… I mean, if it's ok with you…" I smiled and gave a guitar controller to her. "Alright. You're player 1, I'm player 2."

"What? Why?" She asked. I replied, "I prefer to be the bassist." Rainbow Dash asked, "Wait, bass? I thought this was called 'GUITAR Hero,' why would they add the bass?" To which I replied, "The bass is only available in practice and in co-op, although, in some songs, it's a rhythm guitar instead of a bass guitar." "Well, I guess that makes sense. But why do you want to play the bass?" Spike asked. I replied, "I don't know. I guess I just like the bass." "Fair enough," said Rarity.

"Now then, let's get this show on the road!" I said. Fluttershy selected player 1 and I selected player 2. "Now, we'll have to play Quickplay, because Career mode is a single-player mode." "Ok." Fluttershy said. "One more thing," I said, "and this goes for all 7 of you, not just Fluttershy."

"What is it?" Rainbow Dash asked. I replied, "It's best if you start out on Easy mode. You can start out on any difficulty you like, but remember what I told you earlier; I may know all the notes for every song on all difficulties for every instrument by heart, but it took hard work and determination. Even Easy mode can be hard on some songs, especially when you're just starting out and I speak from experience; sometimes I would breeze through the song and get 5 stars with little trouble, and sometimes my butt would get played like the bongos. Not literally, of course."

"Oh… my…" Fluttershy squeaked. "Don't worry, Fluttershy," I said, smiling and patting her back. "You'll be fine. Now, let's rock!" "Woohoo!" Fluttershy cheered quietly. "And," I said, "don't forget: Easy mode only uses the green, red, and yellow fret buttons; Medium difficulty adds the blue fret button and increases the note speed and the number of notes; Hard difficulty adds the orange fret button and speeds up the notes and increases the number of notes; and Expert, while it doesn't add any more fret buttons, it increases the number of notes and speeds them up, and it tries to be as close to playing the actual song as possible." "Got it!" The 6 ponies and Spike said in unison.

"Good," I said proudly. "Now then, Fluttershy, the first thing we do is select a character. Selecting a character doesn't affect the gameplay, it just changes who appears on stage behind the highways." "Ok," Fluttershy said. "Which character should I choose?" "Well," I said, "there are a variety of characters to choose from. But don't choose Clive Winston; I call dibs on him." "Ok," Fluttershy said.

Point of View: Rainbow Dash
Fluttershy slowly began looking through the character selection list, each character apparently representing either an aspect of the rock and roll/heavy metal culture, or a particular genre/subgenre of rock and roll/heavy metal. There were lots of characters to choose from: a metal head guy named Axel Steel; a punk rocker dude named Johnny Napalm; a gothic rock girl named Pandora; a glam rock gal named Judy Nails; a skeleton in a cloak with a scythe for a guitar named Grim Ripper, who was kinda creepy; a psychedelic rock stoner dude named Xavier Stone; a grunge sort of guy with pouty lips named Izzy Sparks; the character selection was, to say the least, a bit… skewed. Fluttershy eventually chose Pandora. "She doesn't look too scary or mean," she said. Logan then selected his character, a classic rock dude named Clive Winston, apparently the guy Logan was talking about earlier.

After they chose their characters, they had to select their individual difficulty settings. Fluttershy chose Easy mode, and Logan chose Expert. Then they went to the song list. "Ok guys," Logan started, "the songs are arranged in incremental difficulty; the easiest songs are the first on the list and they incrementally get harder as you go down the list. The songs are placed in tiers, each with it's own name. The first tier is called 'Opening Licks,' and the easiest songs are in it."

"That was thoughtful of the developers," Twilight said. "Yep," Logan said, "Harmonix really thought all this through." "Who?" I asked. Logan replied, "Harmonix. They're the company who made Guitar Hero." "Oh, ok," I said. "Now then," Logan continued, "Fluttershy, we should start with one of the easier songs. I'll let you choose. I'll sing along with the song, but feel free to join me or stop me at any time." "That's ok," Fluttershy said, "I won't stop you… but I might join in…"

That made Pinkie Pie squeal in joy, apparently thrilled by the prospect of hearing Fluttershy sing. "Let me see…" Fluttershy then began looking at the songs, but she didn't get too far before stopping. "'I Love Rock and Roll?'" "Ah know that song!" Applejack piped up, "Land sakes! They got Joan Pegasus and the Greyhearts on here! Remember how Ah said ma has all of Joan's records? Well that was her favorite of Joan's songs. She said she listened to it all the time when she was a filly."

"Cool," Logan said. "Back home she and her band are called Joan Jett and the Blackhearts." "Why didn't you tell us this song was on here?" Applejack asked. Logan replied, "I did. Remember how I said, '…as we all stood holding noisy, plastic guitars as you'd hold a small, yappy dog, we could close our eyes and pretend we were on stage with Joan Jett… holding a small, yappy dog.'? Well, this is the song I was referring to." "Oh," Applejack said.

"This also happens to be the easiest song in the game," Logan continued. "Sure, it's a cover, but whoever did the singing when they were making the game completely NAILED Joan's voice. Honestly, it's like they got Joan herself to record the vocal section… though, I highly doubt that they did." "So how can we tell if a song is a cover or not?" Rarity asked. "Easy," Logan replied. "Harmonix wouldn't just get Wavegroup - those are the guys who recorded the music - to make a cover of a song without giving a shout-out to the original creators. So to indicate when a song is a cover, the game will display the song title followed by the caption, 'As made famous by.' For example ''I Wanna Be Sedated' as made famous by the Ramones.'"

"That's simple enough," Rarity said. "Very," Logan said. "But now, less talk, more rock!" Fluttershy selected the song and assumed a rock star stance on her hind legs, placing the guitar strap around her neck. The loading screen had a bit of text on it. "'They don't really want to hear Free Bird, they were just heckling you.' What does that mean?" I asked. Logan replied, "The loading screens either have helpful tips on them, or funny text." "Oh," I said.

"SHHHH! IT'S STARTING!" Pinkie Pie shouted. Indeed it was starting; the loading screen had disappeared and was replaced by a stage in front of a small crowd. Pandora and Clive Winston stood on the sides of the stage, with a blonde lady standing at the mic and a drummer at the back of the stage. In the top left corner of the screen appeared the words, "'I Love Rock and Roll' as made famous by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts," but they soon faded away and two highways appeared on the screen, with the rock meter and star power gauge in between them. Then, the drumsticks began clicking together, signaling the countdown.

Tik, tik, tik tik tik tik

Then notes descended upon the highways as the music started.

Bow-dow,  bow-dow, bow bow-dow, bow-dow,  bow-dow, bow bow-dow, bow-dow, bow-dow, bow-dee-dow bdow

Then the lyrics started playing, whereupon Logan and Fluttershy started singing along.

I saw him dancing there by the record machine,
I knew he must have been about seventeen,
The beat was going strong,
Playing my favorite song,
And I could tell it wouldn't be long till he was with me, yeah me
And I could tell it wouldn't be long till he was with me, yeah me

Singing, I love rock and roll,
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby,
I love rock and roll,
So come and take your time and dance with me,
Ow!

They were a sight to behold: Fluttershy staring at the notes without blinking, missing only one or two notes here and there, but still doing great, moving her hips to music all the while; and Logan not even looking to the notes at all, eyes closed, holding his guitar behind his neck and not missing a single note, banging his head to the music so hard that, if he were wearing a hat with corks dangling from it, they'd take somepony's eye out. They were one awesome duet! Then the lyrics started up again, and Logan and Fluttershy resumed singing.

He smiled, so I got up and asked for his name,
That don't matter," he said, "'cause it's all the same,"
He said, "Can I take you home,
Where we can be alone?"
And next we were moving on, he was with me, yeah me
Next we were moving on, he was with me, yeah me

Singing, I love rock and roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock and roll
So come and take your time and dance with me
Ow!

They both filled the star power gauge, but hadn't used it yet… Until now! Logan tilted his guitar up, and activated star power for both himself and Fluttershy. Suddenly, Clive Winston and Pandora both performed a crazy action with their guitars: Clive performing windmill motions with his strumming arm; Pandora spinning her guitar around her ankle. While they did that, Fluttershy's guitar solo and Logan's bass riff were going on and notes were still being played. How was that possible? Suddenly, the lyrics started up again, and Fluttershy and Logan resumed singing.

He said, "Can I take you home,
Where we can be alone?"
Next we're moving on, he was with me, yeah me,
And we'll be moving on and singing that same old song, yeah with me

Singing, I love rock and roll,
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby,
I love rock and roll,
So come and take your time and dance with me,

I love rock and roll,
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby,
I love rock and roll,
So come and take your time and dance with,

I love rock and roll,
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby,
I love rock and roll,
So come and take your time and dance with,

I love rock and roll,
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby,
I love rock and roll,
So come and take your time and dance with,

I love rock and roll,
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby,
I love rock and roll,
So come and take your time and dance with me!

The song then ended. The screen changed to show their ratings. Fluttershy had hit 96% of the notes, and Logan had hit 100% of the notes. Together, they had earned 5 out of 5 possible stars.

Point of View: Rarity
"That was fun," Fluttershy said. "Sure was," Logan said back. "So who's next?" "I'd like to take a stab at it," Spike piped up. "Sounds good," Logan responded. Fluttershy passed the guitar to Spike. "Uh… I can't hold this; it's too big," he said.

"I'll help you with that," Twilight chimed. She then cast a spell on him and he grew bigger; not quite as big as the time when he turned into "Spikezilla," as I call it, just a bit bigger. He still looked like the cute, baby dragon he always was, he was just about the size of a pony.

"Now you should be able to play," Twilight said. "Thanks, Twilight," Spike said with a smile. "I think I'll play on Medium difficulty; I think I can handle it." He then selected Medium difficulty and chose Johnny Napalm as his character. "Ok. You get to pick the song," Logan said. Spike began looking through the second tier song selection.

"'Axe-Grinders?'" I asked. Logan replied, "All the tiers are named after guitar terms. 'The Axe' is another way of saying 'guitar.' I don't know why, though." "Oh, ok," I replied. Spike flipped through the setlist before he came across one title. "'Iron Man?'"
(Author's Note: I refuse to use the word "mare" in the place of "man," because it makes it sound like all of the citizens of Equestria are female, when they aren't.)

"WHAT?!?!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "They have Black Saddle on here?! I LOVE THOSE GUYS!" "Cool," Logan said. "Back home, we call them Black Sabbath."

"Are you sure Spike should play that song?" Twilight asked with a bit of unease in her voice. "I don't think heavy metal is really good for baby dragons to listen to." "He'll be fine," Logan reassured her. "It's not like you're playing it to him while he's sleeping. Besides, even if you were, there's no evidence that says that any one type of music is better for cognitive development than another." "Ok," Twilight said. Spike then selected the song.

Tik, tik, tik tik tik tik

Then, the music started.

Boom, boom, boom, boom

It sounded like a massive pony was stomping. Then, a note descended upon Spike's note track.

BOWWWWWWWWWWW…

Then, the first of the lyrics played in a distorted, haunting voice, with Logan speaking them as well.

I AM IRON MAN!

More notes descended upon Spike's track. Some began to descend onto Logan's as well.

BOWWWWWWW…
BOWWWWWW…
Bow, bow, bow-dow-dow, bow-dee-dow-dee-bow-dee bow-dow-dow,
Bow, bow, bow-dow-dow, bow-dee-dow-dee-bow-dee bow-dow-dow

Then the lyrics started again, with Logan singing along.

Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk at all,
Or if he moves will he fall?

Is he alive or dead?
Has he thoughts within his head?
We'll just pass him there;
why should we even care?

The two of them were a sight to see: Spike playing flawlessly, the occasional missed note not withstanding, while tapping his foot to the music; Logan not missing a single note, facing away from the screen, eyes closed, on his knees like a rock star. Their performance was remarkable!

Rainbow Dash was standing on her hind legs, bobbing her head and thrusting her hips in time with the music. Even Fluttershy was nodding her head to the music. I never would have thought of her as a fan of heavy metal; I figured she'd be more of a fan of soft rock. Then the lyrics started again.

He was turned to steel,
In the great magnetic field,
When he traveled time,
For the future of mankind,

Nobody wants him,
He just stares at the world,
Planning his vengeance,
That he will soon unfurl,

Bow-dow, bow-dee-dow, bow-dee-dow, bow-dee-dow,
Bow-dow, bow-dee-dow, bow-dee-dow, bow-dee-dow,

Now the time is here,
For Iron Man to spread fear,
Vengeance from the grave,
Kills the people he once saved,

Nobody wants him,
They just turn their heads,
Nobody helps him,
Now he has his revenge,

Spike had been using the whammy bar to extract star power. Granted, Logan had done the same, but he was a master of this game, and Spike was not. They hadn't activated it… until now. Logan and Spike pointed their guitars into the air in perfect sync. Once again, the highways light up like a Hearth's Warming Eve tree, and their multiplier doubled. Then a guitar solo started for Spike and a bass riff started for Logan. Spike missed a few notes, no thanks to their sheer speed, but did very well. Their star power gauge depleted once Spike's guitar solo and Logan's bass riff ended. Then the final verse began.

Heavy boots of lead,
Fills his victims full of dread,
Running as fast as they can,
Iron Man lives again!

Shortly after that, the song ended, and the results screen came up. Spike hit about 95% of the notes, and Logan hit 100% of them, unsurprisingly. "Who's next?" Logan asked.

Point of View: Pinkie Pie
"Ah'll go next," Applejack volunteered. Spike unslung the guitar from his neck and gave it to Applejack. Twilight then cast a spell turning him back to normal.

"Lessee' here…" Applejack said, flipping through the song list. It didn't take long for her to find a song. "Sweet Celestia, they've got ZZ Trot on here! Ah love those guys!" "Nice. Back home, their called ZZ Top," Logan said. Applejack hastily chose her song, and shortly afterward, the song started. After the countdown, the music started and notes fell upon both of their tracks.

Bow bow-dow, bow-dow bow, bow-dow-dow,
Bow bow-dow, bow-dow bow, bow-dow-dow,

Shortly afterward, lyrics started, and, sure enough, Logan started singing, and Applejack joined him.

Clean shirt, new shoes,
And I don't know where I'm goin' to.
Silk suit, black tie,
I don't need a reason why.

They come runnin' just as fast as they can,
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man!

Applejack activated star power the moment she had enough to activate it. She missed more notes than Fluttershy and Spike, but she didn't let that bother her; nothing was gonna break her outta her rocker trance! "GO APPLEJACK!" I shouted out to her. The lyrics resumed afterward, as did her and Logan's singing.

Gold watch, diamond ring,
I ain't missin' not a single thing.
And cuff links, stick pin,
When I step out I'm gonna do you in.

They come runnin' just as fast as they can,
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man!

Then came Applejack's guitar solo and Logan's bass riff. Applejack activated star power immediately. She missed a LOT of notes, but she was still in her rock trance. Once the guitar solo and bass riff ended, the lyrics resumed.

Top coat, top hat,
I don't worry 'cause my wallet's fat.
Black shades, white gloves,
Lookin' sharp and lookin' for love.

They come runnin' just as fast as they can,
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man!

The ended shortly afterward. The results screen came up, and, not surprisingly, Logan hit 100% of the notes. Applejack, on the other hoof… "91%? Eh, whatever. Ah had fun," Applejack said with glee. "MY TURN!" I hopped up and hastily swiped the guitar from Applejack's hooves.

Point of View: Twilight Sparkle
Pinkie selected Hard difficulty, and chose Axel Steel as a character. I was about to ask Pinkie if she was seriously about to play her very first song on Hard, but I opted not to; it's Pinkie Pie, don't question it. She hastily flipped through song list, listening to each song preview briefly. But each preview was followed by Pinkie saying, "TOO SLOW!" or, "TOO BORING!"

She kept flipping all the way up to the sixth tier. "'Face-Melters?!' Pinkie Pie, are you sure you--" I said before Pinkie came to a screeching halt on list's very last song. "Oh… my…" Fluttershy squeaked, almost inaudible over the song preview. The smile on Pinkie's face was bigger than I had ever seen from her. "

"OH YEAH! THIS IS MY JAM!" She shouted. "Good thing too," Logan said. "'Cause that's the hardest song in the game. If you wanted any harder songs, we'd have to change to a different game."

"I'm fine with that," Pinkie replied. "Most of the songs on this are kinda hit-and-miss for me, anyway." Hmmm…" Logan put a hoof to his chin. "Ok. Tell you what, after this song, I'll skip us ahead a whole milestone and move us to Guitar Hero III. I was gonna move us up to Guitar Hero II and then Rocks The 80's, but I guess we can skip those. The songs on those games are better on Guitar Hero Smash Hits, anyway."

Pinkie then chose her song. After the loading screen cleared and the countdown ended, the music began.

Ba-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, doo-doo-doo,
Ba-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, bow-dow-dow-dow-dow-dow-dow-dow,

Then the lyrics started up, and both Pinkie and Logan began singing.

Screams break the silence,
Waking from the dead of night,
Vengence is boiling,
He's returned to kill the light,

Then when he's found who he's looking for,
Listen in awe and you'll hear him,

Bark at the moon!
Ha ha ha ha…

They were a sight to behold; neither of them missing a single note. I don't know how it was possible for Pinkie; she was a novice at the game just like the rest of us. Then the lyrics resumed.

Years spent in torment,
Buried in a nameless grave,
Now he has risen,
Miracles would have to save,

Those that the beast is looking for,
Listen in awe and you'll hear him,

Bark at the moon!
Hey yeah, bark at the moon!

They cursed and buried him along with shame,
And thought his timeless soul had gone, (gone),
In empty burning hell - unholy one,
But he's returned to prove them wrong (so wrong),
Ooh, yeah baby

Then the guitar solo and bass riff began. Pinkie and Logan activated star power in perfect sync; they were playing in perfect harmony. Pinkie was playing like a pony possessed; staring at the notes without even blinking, her brow furrowed, a look of determination plastered on her face. Eventually the solo and riff died down and the lyrics resumed.

Howling in shadows,
Living in a lunar spell,
He finds his heaven,
Spewing from the mouth of hell,

Those that the beast is looking for,
Listen in awe and you'll hear him,

Bark at the moon!
Hey yeah, bark at the moon!
Hey yeah, bark at the moon!
Oh-woah yeah, bark at the moon!

Shortly after that, the song ended and the game went to the results screen. Logan, of course, hit 100%, no surprise there; Pinkie Pie, however… "100%?!?! Pinkie Pie! How-- What-- Bluh--" That was all Rarity could blurt out. Admittedly, I was stunned, too,  and I was speechless.

Pinkie Pie smiled at us. "My sister Limestone listened to Ozzy Osbourne all the time when she was going through her black metal phase a few years ago. I remembered this song from when I went to visit her during that time." "So Ozzy Osbourne has the same name here as he does back home… Cool." Logan chimed in.

"Ozzy Osbourne?" I asked. "I heard that pony bit the head off of a bat." "WHAT?!" Fluttershy screamed. Ok, note to self: never talk about animals getting killed in Fluttershy's presence. "I've heard the same thing about him back in my world," Logan spoke up. "But I seriously doubt that's true." "You're right," I said. "It's probably just a rumor." Fluttershy sighed in relief.
(Author's Note: I don't really know if Ozzy Osbourne actually bit the head off a bat, so, if he did, let's pretend that he didn't, so as not to give poor Fluttershy a heart attack. Also, the reason I didn't ponify Ozzy Osbourne's name is because I couldn't think of one, except for the obvious one, and I think that the name "Ozzy Ospony" sounds absolutely ridiculous lol)

"Still," I said, "that stallion is so old. Pinkie, didn't your sister listen to anything other than him during that time?" "Well of course!" Pinkie giggled, "Ozzy Osbourne and his band aren't the only heavy metal band in Equestria: she listened to Metallicolt; Megadeth; AC/DC; the list goes on."

"Well," Logan said, "let's get on to Guitar Hero III!" But then, all 8 of our stomachs started to roar in unison. "Wow, we must be REALLY hungry…" I said. Logan smiled, "Don't worry, I'll make us some lunch." Then he went to the kitchen. When he invites us over to play video games, if he ever makes lunch, he always prepares a big party buffet: sandwiches; chips and dip; cake; ice cream; soda; the works. At least we'll have lots of refreshments on this rock adventure.